Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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