my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
