What tipped you off? The sombrero?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
