covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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