what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
