I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
