HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
