Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
