Are we in a gay sports bar?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
