Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
