More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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