So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
