Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
