he wants to bone in the snuggie
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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