Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize