What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
