Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
