Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
