i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
