I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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