You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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