He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
