dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
