would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
