Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
