Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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