I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
