so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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