you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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