You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
