when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
