I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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