why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
