***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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