It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
