I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
