Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Randomize
