You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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