My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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