I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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