Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i drank out of a bidet.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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