not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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