Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
