butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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