but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
