that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
