those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
