So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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