so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
