I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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