Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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