I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
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He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
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Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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