I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
