he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
