if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
