i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
