i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
