I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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