i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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