go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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