I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
