Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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