I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
