So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize